Provocateur.

NOTE: A provocateur...(1) Notices change, (2) is okay with uncertainty, and (3) has learned to create change.

My provocateur would have to be my aunt, Janice (also one of my mentors). She's the children's choir director for my church and has been for many years. Janice, "Jan-jan," has always played an important role in my life in that she is an extraordinary woman. She is always positive and keeps moving through her toughest moments. Working with children, nothing is ever certain and she has learned to overcome that feeling and move on with a great attitude. 

There is never a dull moment around her and she has impacted many children throughout her calling. She has the courage to stand up and do what she knows is right. With accepting uncertainty, she has found the certainty that God is always in control.

Uncertainty is a scary thing. I think all roads to becoming a provocateur begins by giving God full trust and asking Him for guidance in your life. I think I need to gain a little more patience and confidence in God's will for my life. A verse that comes to mind is Romans 11:36. This verse applies to many aspects in life, but really fits the theme of a provocateur. Giving Him full control will better my chances of becoming a life-changer, agent of change, or provocateur.  

Some More HMP Blogs!

http://hittingthenoteblog.wordpress.com/

http://dstandjunk.blogspot.com/

http://hanabrownie.wordpress.com/

Voyage of the Project.

My youth choir's first performance.

I have been working NON-STOP with my youth choir over the past few weeks. This mentorship and opportunity has truly been a blessing to my senior year. My topic for my final HMP project is 'rehearsing with an ensemble.' Since September, I've had A LOT of practice with this. I'm currently directing my youth choir, a play at school, and co-direcing the school musical. Yes, it is time-consuming (but absolutely worth it). I haven't mentioned to my youth choir that they're going to be my guinea pigs for my project so it'll be exciting.

With my project, I hope to answer the following questions: (1) What method(s) are most effective? (2) How do you deal with memers who are disruptive or unmotivated? (3) How do you keep members intrigued/pumped? I have many more questions but these are the main points that I want to hit. I know for a fact that I'm going to incorporate a video into my project, showing a few of my youth choir rehearsals and also one of our performances. I'm going to tackle ways that I've worked to keep myself calm during stressful rehearsals (and trust me there're many of those). I'm somehow going to incorporate the musical that I scripted, "The Story", into my project. This has been an ongoing project in itself. APRIL 14TH, YOU GUYS! I'm super excited and ready to see my creation come to life onstage.

I am constantly using noteflight.com to notate, arrange, or fix music in choir and for my own use. It has been quite a helpful tool in my journey, making it easier to write music.

Veracious Vulnerability.

This week's assignment feels a whole a lot deeper than previous assignments. Side note: This woman is awesome and hilarious. (1) Sometimes [and this is a completely odd remark] I feel that I'm not 'talented' enough. I feel like I could be doing so much more or see other people do their thing and wish they I could do the same. Vulnerability to me is not being able to stand up for yourself in a difficult or situation, or any situation for that matter. It's letting things happen that you wouldn't normally let happen if you weren't under pressure. 

I personally struggle with vulnerability in that I'm a people pleaser in the leading position. I want to make everyone happy even if causes a slight downfall to my personal being or the group as a whole. I don't want people angry at me or feeling uncomfortable. 
Although the situation varies, I typically tell myself that everything can be conquered or overcome. I keep in mind Philippians 4:13 so I'm constantly reminded that through Christ, I can do all things. 

Rrrrrrrrrrrr.

1. Which of the three R’s do you feel you need to develop? Relationship

2. What are three books you’ve read in the past year? Reckless, Incarceron, Ready Player One

3. As a child, what did you do in your free time? Played with my action figures, of course!

4. What’s a goal that has been on your list for a few years? To be come a well-developed musician

5. What do you actually do with your free time? Play piano, listen to music

6. What types of activities energize you? Most anything involving music

7. What famous people intrigue you? Christy Nockels, Jason Raize

My Apparent Lack of Empathy.

empathy (em-puh-thee): The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. 

Well, according to the lovely test, I score a 34 in empathy. I'm going to say I hope I'm a bit more empathetic than that. I do often find myself in situations where I don't understand where someone is coming from, but I am also very considerate and open to others' voices. Although I may be low in empathy, I feel a 34 does not reflect me. I may be a Grinch, but in the end his heart grew so I'm good.

Empathy isn't really something to be taught. Parents can teach you manners, they can teach you about faith, they can teach you to tie your shoe or how to ride a bike. But the concept of empathy is something that comes from within. It is your own personal thoughts and feelings, not something your parents taught you. Parents can share their ideas and empathy can be shared in that way, but not given. It is something to be learned on your own.

One of my teachers at my school shows a great deal of empathy. She is constantly thinking of others and how they feel. The concern she has is very noticeable and she tries to make an effort to make everyone comfortable. She is very conscience about what she says and also very caring. She is open to listen to almost anyone who comes to her to talk. On the other hand (and since we're on the teacher subject), a clerk at my school who usually deals with the attendance, tardies, etc. is my target. To put it bluntly (there's my unempatheticness), the only way you could really get an absence or tardy excused was if someone had died. My mother had me checked out once for a scheduled doctor's appointment and she wouldn't excuse the absences. A friend of mine missed because she had the stomach virus and the lovely clerk wouldn't excuse that either. She may be my fellow Grinch, because she's much nicer this year. 

Growth.

I chose the word: Growth. This word for me has multiple meanings behind it in that I want to grow closer to God, grow in His will for my life, and grow as a person moving on to the next chapter of their life. This resolution pulls me back to a Bible verse that a camp counselor gave me in a rough spot: Philippians 3:14, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ."

People I envy almost more than anyone in the world are composers. Whether they wrote a soundtrack or a symphony or just a random song, I typically find myself jealous that I didn't write it. Hans Zimmer, Harry Gregson-Williams, John Williams, Danny Elfman, John Powell, etc. The list is absolutely ENDLESS. Music is my passion and to write a good piece is something I always want. Being an actor (and this is probably some kind of theater kid syndrome), we try to make every story a little bit more dramatic or epic. We want to have that jaw-dropping moment or surprise. We long to make people laugh (or cry). I can't pin something I lie about specifically, but there's always an aspect of truth that we like to bend to tell the better tale.